Just some poetry expressing what I've been learning lately. The first is John Donne. The second is me. No, I don't think I'm anywhere near as good as him. That's why I put my poetry up paired with a real poem. So I remember how bad I am at it.

Batter my heart, three-person'd God ; for you
As yet but knock ; breathe, shine, and seek to mend ;
That I may rise, and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend
Your force, to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurp'd town, to another due,
Labour to admit you, but O, to no end.
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betroth'd unto your enemy ;
Divorce me, untie, or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

Inward, forever inward do I stare
but not with admiration or with love.
I shudder at the slime I can't remove;
tremble beneath the weight of my despair.
The sour pit within conceals my soul,
a loathsome spider feeding on itself,
consuming always, not content with wealth;
always empty, unwilling to be whole.
But there is One who sees the spider hide.
His light forever shines above the deep
and bids me come and drink, and He will keep
me full and whole beside His river wide.
But do I dare to step into the light?
Or will I stay to feed another night?

I have a very active imagination. It's usually a good thing, but sometimes I think it's more trouble than its worth. For example, I have this bad habit of setting up false hopes. I think of something that would be wonderful, and start to hope that that thing will happen. I can imagine a good fifteen different ways that it could happen, and how I will react when it does. But then, you know, it doesn't. Because I was hoping in something untrue, rather than hoping in the Lord as I should. Silly me.

So, I've come up with another of my visual-mind-picture cures. When crazy false thoughts pop up, I march them into the throne room of my King, and ask him to drag them down into the dungeon to be executed. And I watch as some big burly knights drag them out by their shirt collars to get beheaded or something equally effective.

Can't say I don't hide a few now and then, but eventually they are all brought before the Throne and taken into captivity. If it won't surrender, it dies.

II Corinthians 10:5

We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ

There are a number of tricks that people use to curb their hunger when they're on a diet. I know, I've tried a bunch of them. Sometimes I've tried filling up on the 'good' things, like water and vegetables, so I wouldn't have room for junk food. Sometimes I try distractions. Sometimes I just try to ignore the hunger. But its always there, just below the surface, waiting to pop out and get me to grab the nearest thing to eat.

I've been noticing the same thing going on with my spiritual stomach. The desire for sin, and sometimes, just the false hope of something not really bad but hoped in more than the Lord, is always present and read to latch onto whatever is lying closest to me. Lately, my appetite for entertainment (mostly the hanging with friends kind), a husband, comfort and rest, and a good reputation, have been controlling my choices in life. It's a scary thought.

So what do you do to improve your spiritual diet? Ok, so I know I need to read more Scripture and pray. I have been. I have a long commute to work, and I've been meditating on scripture on the train in the morning. I'm praying all the time in the back of my head. But is there anything else I can do to curb my spirit's hunger?

Most of the things I'm craving aren't bad things. Just things that are bad as the staple of your diet. Pray with me as I seek to improve my spiritual diet.

I did it!

I finally got a permanent job!

And not just any permanent job. I got a job with a graphic design firm!

Garden Center Solutions for whom I was doing some freelance work, had a part time position open up, and offered it to me!

True, it's only part time and still doesn't include all those loverly benefits, but there is the possibility of full-time work in the future. But still, it's nice to have a job that can't let you go in a day. I'm very excited. I think I'll fit in very well with this group, and there is definitely a lot of growth potential there.

Thanks to all of you who have been praying for me. I knew the Lord had something good in store for me, and now I can praise Him for how well He has worked things out for me!

I hope you all have had a loverly Christmas. Mine was great. I love being around family. One thing we did this holiday season was go see the Nativity movie.

It was wonderful! They stayed completely true to scripture, cast some great actors, some brilliant costume designers, and a great score writer who actually managed to make Christmas carols sound Jewish.

Not convinced yet? I have often imagined in my head what Mary had to go through, coming back to her house and having to tell her parents and her fiance that she was pregnant, and that God did it to her. This movie dealt with that and so much more. It gave the story historical context that I hadn't thought about. It gave Mary and Joseph a very personal context and my mother loved the respect they showed to Joseph (an all too often forgotten character).

I even like the way they handled the angel. I was expecting wowing special effects. But it was very subtle. A man, but somehow obviously more. Like he hovered, or was a bit too large . . . I couldn't quite grasp it. Anyway, it was very effective.

So if you get a chance to see it, I highly recommend this movie. It's touching, respectful, and enjoyable.

I have finally managed to land a part time graphic design job. I can do it at home, and bill them by the hour. So far its been going well.

The main great thing about this, is that the firm will be hiring permanent people in January, so be in prayer that I really impress them. I really hope this one pans out. As greatful as I am for the job at Independence Blue Cross, its not really my thing. Ok, its dead boring. So I would very much like this chance to do something I enjoy.

I just made it into the Philly Pops Festival Chorus! I'm so excited. It sounds like it will be a lot of work, but I think it's going to be tons of fun. We get to sing with Peter Nero and the Philly Pops for the holidays. If anyone will be in the area, come enjoy the show!

Check it Out!

Read the facts here: http://msnbc.msn.com/id/15105305/?GT1=8618

I've been to Paradise. There's an old steam engine that advertises trips there--it's about a twenty minute ride. They have great ice cream.

So imagine the shock of hearing of another school shooting--in a one room school house in Amish Country. I couldn't believe my ears.

My favorite comment was by a tourist on the local news. "I think we've been raising a lot of weirdos lately, and we need to fix that."

Violence in the Philadelphia area has been rising. So far we've had more murders by gun this year than all of last year. The mayor's not doing much about it. No one's really doing much about it. I have to tell you, it doesn't make me feel very safe at night.

I need to start praying more for my city. It's a great city, filled with history and great people, a city that's truly multicultural, fun, exciting, and until recently, fairly safe. I need to pray that the good people in the city will be willing to step up and work against the mostly drug gang violence going on here. It feels as though the world is going insane all around me.

'Tis not a [month] or two shows us a man.

They are all but stomachs, and we all but food;

To eat us hungerly, and when they are full,

They belch us.

 

Emilia, Othello, III:iv

Well, some of you are probably saying, "we could have told you that" but forgive me. I like Nicholas Cage, I like psychological thrillers, and I thought it would be a good movie to see.

 I was sooooooo wrong.

I was very disturbed and frightened right after the movie, but my mom and I now agree it was quite funny in it's stupidity. Like an old B Twilight Zone episode, only with worse writing, a clueless main character, and a way too long death scene at the end.

The main thought "The drone must die!" Welcome to femenism at its most frightening. A wierd, Celtic, mother goddess kind of thing. And no heroic uplifting ending.

Just don't go see it! Needless to say I am now going to research every movie before I go to see it. Here's a good site to go to for that purpose: http://www.kids-in-mind.com/